RINGTONES INSTRUMENTAL

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Dance__Midi_Ringtones

Recession hit company

DUE TO COST CUTTING, THIS IS YOUR NEW CUBICLE





















EFFECTIVE SEPTEMBER 1, 2008

NEW OFFICE POLICY

Dress Code:
1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.
2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Fridays & Saturdays.

Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders' category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break:
* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

The woman in your life...very well expressed...

T he woman in your life...very well expressed...





Tomorrow you may get a working woman, but you should marry her with these facts as well.

Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;
Who is earning almost as much as you do;

One, who has dreams and aspirations just as
you have because she is as human as you are;

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your
Sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system
that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements

One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as
much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;

One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family ,name

One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen

One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook
food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more,
and yet never ever expected to complain; to be a servant, a cook, a mother,
a wife, even if she doesn't want to; and is learning just like you are as
to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you;

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;

Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply
Because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise

One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met;

One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important,
relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some
and trust her;

One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house - your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.

But not many guys understand this......

Please appreciate "HER"


I hope you will do....









Respect Her.

Share this with as many women as possible... they'll love you for it!
Share this with as many men as you can so that they'll know why women are so special :-)))))))))

Have a wonderful day !! ,___,___
Cheer Up!!!!!

Stress relief exercise..

mr bean

Do These Facial Exercises every two hours . . . It is good for your stress relief":-)

what to try this paintings

The most horrifying look

The most horrifying look of the humans is when we imagine the mouth in place of the eye.
one of those pictures is as below.

you cant find much better way then this......

where ever we go we carry our loved once like this......

Cadbury Eyebrows (official version)

Amazing facts

1. Saturday mail delivery in Canada was eliminated by Canada Post on February 1, 1969!
2. In Tokyo, a bicycle is faster than a car for most trips of less than 50 minutes!
3. There are 18 different animal shapes in the Animal Crackers cookie zoo!
4. Should there be a crash, Prince Charles and Prince William never travel on the same airplane as a precaution!
5. Your body is creating and killing 15 million red blood cells per second!
6. The king of hearts is the only king without a moustache on a standard playing card!
7. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos!
8. There is one slot machine in Las Vegas for every eight inhabitants!
9. The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows. It was the fashion in Renaissance Florence to shave them off!
10. Every day 20 banks are robbed. The average take is $2,500!
11. The most popular first name in the world is Muhammad!
12. Tablecloths were originally meant to be served as towels with which dinner guests could wipe their hands and faces after eating!
13. Tourists visiting Iceland should know that tipping at a restaurant is considered an insult!
14. One car out of every 230 made was stolen last year!
15. The names of Popeye's four nephews are Pipeye, Peepeye, Pupeye, and Poopeye!
16. Until the nineteenth century, solid blocks of tea were used as money in Siberia!
17. The Nobel Peace Prize medal depicts three naked men with their hands on each other's shoulders!
18. When glass breaks, the cracks move faster than 3,000 miles per hour. To photograph the event, a camera must shoot at a millionth of a second!
19. A Boeing 747 airliner holds 57,285 gallons of fuel!
20. A car uses 1.6 ounces of gas idling for one minute. Half an ounce is used to start the average automobile!
21. The Philadelphia mint produces 26 million pennies per day!
22. A lightning bolt generates temperatures five times hotter than those found at the sun's surface!
23. A violin contains about 70 separate pieces of wood!
24. It is estimated that 4 million "junk" telephone calls, phone solicitations by persons or programmed machine are made every day in the United States!
25. It takes glass one million years to decompose, which means it never wears out and can be recycled an infinite amount of times!
26. Forest fires move faster uphill than downhill!
27. Almost half the newspapers in the world are published in the United States and Canada!
28. The two-foot long bird called a Kea that lives in New Zealand likes to eat the strips of rubber around car windows!
29. Most lipstick contains fish scales!
30. Skepticisms is the longest word that alternates hands when typing!
31. One ragweed plant can release as many as one billion grains of pollen!
32. It's illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while you're sitting on a curb in St. Louis!
33. The first product to have a bar code was Wrigleys gum!
34. No piece of square dry paper can be folded more than 7 times in half!
35. A group of geese on the ground is a gaggle, a group of geese in the air is a skein!
36. Over 2500 left handed people a year are killed from using products made for right handed people!
37. There are more than 10 million bricks in the Empire State Building!
38. If you counted 24 hours a day, it would take 31,688 years to reach one trillion!
39. Taphephobia is the fear of being buried alive!
40. A crocodile always grows new teeth to replace the old teeth!
41. The sun is 330,330 times larger than the earth!
42. Clinophobia is the fear of beds!
43. A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second!
44. Porcupines float in water!
45. Pinocchio is Italian for "pine eye"!
46. The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over a lazy dog." uses every letter of the alphabet!
47. The average life span of a major league baseball is 5-7 pitches!
48. The Mint once considered producing doughnut-shaped coins!
49. The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is "uncopyrightable"!
50. The longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds!
51. The sloth (a mammal) moves so slowly that green algae can grow undisturbed on its fur!
52. Cat urine glows under a black-light!
53. The world's termites outweigh the world's humans 10 to 1!
54. The electric chair was invented by a dentist!
55. Windmills always turn counter-clockwise. Except for the windmills in Ireland!
56. A hedgehog's heart beats 300 times a minute on average!
57. Camels have three eyelids to protect themselves from blowing sand!
58. The placement of a donkey's eyes in its head enables it to see all four feet at all times!
59. Human teeth are almost as hard as rocks!
60. A mole can dig a tunnel 300 feet long in just one night!
61. Ancient Egyptians slept on pillows made of stone!
62. A hippo can open its mouth wide enough to fit a 4 foot tall child inside!
63. A quarter has 119 grooves on its edge, a dime has one less groove!
64. Hummingbirds can weigh less than a penny!!
65. Until 1796, there was a state in the United States called Franklin. Today it's known as Tennessee!
66. The Earth weighs around 6,600,000,000,000,000,000,000 tons (5,940 billion billion metric tons)!
67. A cockroach can live several weeks with its head cut off - it dies from starvation!
68. Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie!
69. The average person has over 1,460 dreams a year!
70. It's against the law to pawn your dentures in Las Vegas!
71. One in every 4 Americans has appeared on television!
72. The average American/Canadian will eat about 11.9 pounds of cereal per year!
73. It's against the law to burp, or sneeze in a certain church in Omaha, Nebraska!
74. you're born with 300 bones, but when you get to be an adult, you only have 206!
75. Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete!
76. Over 10,000 birds a year die from smashing into windows!
77. The state of Florida is bigger than England!
78. There are more than one million animal species on Earth!
79. In Natoma, Kansas, it's illegal to throw knives at men wearing striped suits
80. It was once against the law to have a pet dog in a city in Iceland!
81. Your heart beats over 100,000 times a day!
82. Thomas Edison, lightbulb inventor, was afraid of the dark!

Things you need to know

• A rat can last longer without water than a camel.
• Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks or it will digest itself.
• The dot over the letter "i" is called a tittle.
• A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and
  down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.
• A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate.
• Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
• A 2 X 4 is really 1-1/2" by 3-1/2".
• During the chariot scene in "Ben Hur," a small red car can be seen
  in the distance (and Heston's wearing a watch).
• On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily!
  (That explains a few mysteries....)
• Sherlock Holmes NEVER said, "Elementary, my dear Watson."
• Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.
• The number of possible ways of playing the first four moves per
  side in a game of chess is 318,979,564,000.
• There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with orange,
  purple and silver.
• Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space
  because passing wind in a spacesuit damages them.
• The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin in World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.
• Weatherman Willard Scott was the first Ronald McDonald.
• If one places a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will
  instantly go mad and sting itself to death. (Who was the sadist who
  discovered this??)
• Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to s-l-o-w film down
  so you could see his moves. That's the opposite of the norm.
• The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen's "Born in
  the USA."
• The original name for butterfly was flutterby.
• The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which
  stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
• The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player
  for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola.
• Roses may be red, but violets are indeed violet.
• By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you cannot
  sink into quicksand.
• Celery has negative calories. It takes more calories to eat a
  piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with.
• Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin
  look-alike contest.
• An old law in Bellingham, Washington, made it illegal for a woman
  to take more than three steps backwards while dancing!
• The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book
  most often stolen from public libraries.
• The glue on Israeli postage is certified kosher.
• Bats always turn left when exiting a cave!

Orange festival in netherlands